This is a short story written about Ancestor Veneration. The story is spoken from the view of a grandmother to her deceased daughter’s child. It attempts to make the idea of the Ancestors and the veneration of them accessible to a younger audience. It isn’t always easy to explain when a beloved parent, aunt/uncle, sibling, or grandparent passes. By finding and rewriting this story it helped with my own grief in losing my child. Perhaps it will help others.

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            Merryn, who was 7 years old, sat on her bed. She was looking up at the ceiling. At that moment, her grandmother walked into the room. Merryn had been quiet all day and her nanna wanted to see if she was alright.  The loss of her mother had hit everyone hard. In the months that passed, Merryn had not really shared her feelings. Sitting on the bed, Nanna rubbed her granddaughter’s back, and tried to get Merryn to talk.

            “How are you doing sweetie?”

            “Fine, Nanna” Merryn replied.

            “You’ve been sitting here for quite some time and have been awfully quiet. Is there anything you want to talk about?”  Nanna asked

            “No, I’m fine.”

But Merryn wasn’t fine.  A tear slowly slid down her cheek.  Seeing this overflow of emotion, Nanna gathered Merryn into her loving arms and held her close.  Merryn began to cry in earnest, unable to stop the flood.

            “I miss her so much!  Where did she go?  Will I ever see her again?  Does she miss me?”

Nanna hugged her tight and answered,

            “Those are very good questions, Merryn.  Of course she misses you. How much did your mother tell you about the ancestors?”

            “Just that we honor them and that they came before we did.  What does that have to do with Mama?”  Merryn asked.

            “You are correct in that we honor them and yes, they did come before us. Our ancestors once lived and breathed just like we do. They had hardships and blessings the same as us. We honor our ancestors not just because they came before. We also recognize all they went through and sacrificed. They did this so that we may live our lives the way we do. Our ancestors stretch back to the beginning of time. Their blood runs through our veins and we are the results of their choices and decisions.”

            “Is Mama with them?”  Merryn asked.

            “Yes, your mama is with the ancestors. But she is also with you. Her life, both the good and the bad things, made her into the person that you knew and loved. And she shared that love with you. Some day, long into the future, you will see your mother again. In the meantime, the lessons she taught will stay with you to pass down to your children and grandchildren. Our ancestors did that as well.  They taught their children how to live and dream. Those lessons were passed down generation after generation.  Some of those very lessons your mother shared with you. Our ancestors may not be living in this world anymore, however, they continue to live through us. This happens when we remember them. We honor them not just on high days, but everyday. When we remember them, and honor them, they continue on in our hearts, our memories, and our spirit.”  Nanna answered.

            “But you said that I will see her again. How will I know she’s there?”

            “Yes, I did say that, didn’t I?” Nanna said softly, “But that is in the future. For now, just look in the mirror to see her again. You will see all your ancestors. You are who you are because of them. They didn’t just pass down their teachings, but what they looked like as well. When you look in the mirror or look at me or really anyone else around you, you see the ancestors. You will know that your mother is with you when you need her by looking in the mirror. Then just put your arms around yourself, squeeze tight, and you will feel her presence. All of us are connected through our ancestors. And those that came before us are never truly gone from this world when we remember. Does that answer your questions?” Nanna asked.

            “I suppose so. But I still miss her.” Merryn replied.

Nanna chuckled and squeezed Merryn tight. 

            “We all do sweetie. Just know that as we honor her memory, she is never completely gone. Keep her in your heart and in your memories and she will live on. And remember that I am here as well. We can’t stop living because we lose someone we love. We will be sad at their loss all our lives. That hurt and ache for them reminds us of just how much we loved them. The ancestors feel that, including your mother. They want us to be happy and live fully. No matter how hard it is, we have to go on. Continuing to live despite our losses is the best way to honor them.”

Nanna patted her on the back, stood up, and said:

            “I have to go and fix supper now, will you be okay?”

 Merryn replied “Yes. I’ll be down in a minute. I need to go to the bathroom.”

Nanna left for the kitchen while Merryn went to the bathroom to wash her face. Standing in front of the mirror to the bathroom. she looked closely at herself.  After a minute or two her eyes widened, she smiled really big, threw her arms around herself and said:           

“I love you too.”