This ceremony was performed in the lovely Hocking Hills area. The couple had researched through multiple sites and books for rituals that called to them and when they couldn’t decide I directed them to the ADF site. After reading through, explaining the parts, and tweaking to fit their needs we came up with the following rite. It is not a full Core Order of Ritual but it has multiple elements that rang clear and true for two people that while both were pagan had different personal beliefs.

There were some last minute adjustments as the venue did not allow for everything they wanted. We had three small tables set up, one for each Kindred, that the couple made their own offerings to after their hands had been bound. I still remember the gorgeous ancestor altar with the 19th century family bible on it. It was a wonderful experience sharing these elements of paganism with their families who had never had the opportunity to see anything outside of their own Christian background. So many were touched by the simplicity and beauty of each individual piece and the wealth of meaning that went behind it.

• Processional – This is when those participating arrive at the altar space.

o Family brings candles in and lights one for each party.

o Harp music accompanied by Bride walking down the aisle.

• Statement of Purpose
  • Good evening. We are gathered here before the Kindreds, (in this beautiful place), to witness the joining of two lives, Jennifer and Michael. These two young people have chosen this special time and place to be joined to one another.  The decision to marry is not entered into lightly, but rather is undertaken with great consideration, respect, and love. You, as friends and family, are able to celebrate with Jennifer and Michael at the beginning of their journey.
• Before beginning our ceremony it is customary to purify the space. Both Fire and Water are by their very natures sacred and we call upon the Divine to use these elements for cleansing away those things that cause us strife allowing us to join in the joyful celebration the union of this couple brings. 
  • Purification
    • Censing and aspersing the couple or the group

• Honoring the Earth Mother

o “Earth Mother,
From you we spring
by you are we nourished
To you we inevitably return.
Our bodies are built upon your bounty
Our spirits strengthen with your support
We call out to you as a child does a parent.
Blessed World, from whose womb springs forth all things;

What can we give that is ours only by your grace?
What gift can we make that was not first your gift to us?
The air we breathe, the food we eat, the shelter we call our homes show the love you bear your children. 

Bounteous Lady, we welcome you in all your forms.
We call  you this day to bear witness to the joining of this couple, to share your blessings with (bride) and (groom) as they begin a new path honoring their union and their love.

Accept this offering on behalf of those gathered here in the spirit of love and joy with which it is given.

Earth Mother, we honor you.”

(couple repeats last line)

Offering made by the couple to the earth that sustains them.

• Opening the Gate(s)/Inviting the Three Kindreds

o Shining Ones (Gods and Goddesses)

Shining Ones
Guardians of hearth and home
Protectors of kith and kin
Bringers of peace and plenty

 Shining Ones, our Elders,
Goddesses and Gods of all paths;
Wisest and Mightiest;
You who sustain all the worlds;

 Shining Ones,
We honor your presence
Offering our love and worship.
Be with us in this space and in our hearts
Accept this gift in token of our friendship.

Shining Ones, accept our offering.

o  Spirits of Land and Place (Nature spirits)

Noble Ones
Beings of myth and magic
Messengers of the Otherworld
Dwellers of land, sea and sky
Watchers of this sacred ground!

Noble Ones,
With whom we share the worlds;
You who fill the land with wonder;
Spirits of Stone and Stream,
Tribes of Spirits, the Peoples of the Otherworld:

 Noble Ones,
We honor your presence
Offering our love and worship.
Be with us in this space and in our hearts
Accept this gift in token of our friendship.

Noble Ones, accept our offering.

 o Ancestors –

Mothers and Fathers of old.
Grandmothers and Grandfathers,
Beloved Dead of blood and spirit
Ancestors of flesh and bone
those that have walked before us.

Mighty Ones
We, your children honor you.
For your sacrifices and tears
For your joys and laughter
We honor you.

It is because of you that we may walk the paths we now tread.
We honor your presence
Offering our love and worship.
Be with us in this space and in our hearts
Accept this gift in token of our friendship.

Ancestors, accept our offering.

• Key Offerings –

o Couple make separate offerings to the Kindreds

o  (This is the point where you can make offerings to the spirit/entity of your choosing. You are asking that they stand by you as you make your vows . This is a personal offering and is to be done separately from one another.)

• Workings

o Vows and meat of the ceremony – exchange of rings

o  Do you have the rings? (pass rings to me) The history of the wedding ring dates back before the spread of Christianity.  It was a symbol of eternity, with no beginning or end and was used by multiple ancient cultures, it is a tradition that is still observed today. Even the hole in the center of the ring has significance. It is not just a space, but rather a gateway, or door; leading to things and events both known and unknown. The journey from one life to another.  To give a ring in this fashion signifies never-ending and immortal love.  Today, (bride) and (groom) have chosen to write their own vows to one another as they exchange rings. 

o (bride)? (I will hand you (groom) ring.  At the end of your vows place ring upon (groom) finger)

o (groom)? (I will hand you (bride) ring.   At the end of your vows place ring upon (bride) finger)

o Walk to the candles taking them from your side and Lighting the center candle together…

       o What began as two is made stronger into one.

      o Family bestowing the Blessings

• Hand binding

[There are several ways one can go with a handfasting/tying the knot ceremony. Here is the one I envisioned for this ceremony.  Sit down with (groom) and write out several qualities/things (bride) want to happen in the marriage……Fidelity, Love, Harmony, Peace….just to name a few.  Select a ribbon color for each quality. Cords should be about 4-6 feet (Depending on personal preference.  It will shrink as it is braided)  Write out a short description that goes with that concept as it pertains to marriage. A quick example would be:

“The white ribbon represents Peace. As (I) lay this ribbon over their hands may their union be blessed in both happy and hard times with peace in their hearts to carry them through.”

That is just an example, (bride and groom) could make up something that is more meaningful for them. Have the wedding party carry in one of the ribbons during the procession and lay them on the center “altar”.  When it is time to join hands for the binding portion, take (groom) hand and hold it while the I lay one ribbon over them speaking the words that have been chosen.  We will be certain to let the ribbons dangle at the same length. After all the ribbons have been placed over their joined hands, (bride) and (groom) then hold all the ribbons together leaving about 4 inches above the hands. I will say:

“We tie together these intents for (bride) and (groom) so they may incorporate these qualities in their marriage.”

Then the couple switch the ribbons to where they are both holding the knotted end together.

“Will those of you with blessings for the couple step forward?” 

The family members that wish to bestow blessings will come up and speak their words while braiding the ribbons together. Will try and time it so that the braid ends when the last person is finished speaking.  If it does not go to the end there is no harm done.  I will then tie the finished end in a knot.

“May the wisdom of your tribe be manifest in your union.”

I will then do a loose “tie” around the wrists (her/his left in his/her right)

(What they do with the cords after the wedding is up to the couple. I can wrap the braided cords around their wrists again and they stay “bound” until after the reception. They can then hang it up over their bed, drape it over a mantelpiece, or something else. They can simply carry it between them and lay it across their chairs at the reception, whatever calls to them. One can also decorate a wreath after the wedding with the ribbons or braid them or add them to a decoration. The idea is to place those blessings in a prominent place where they will always be near while at home. Somewhere central and important. A lot of people place the ribbons over their bed, wrapped around their bed, over a mantel, or even above their front door. They should not get rid of it or untie it as that releases the blessings spoken into it.]

• Final Offerings

o First offerings of the couple as one to the Kindreds (This is where the two of you together make an offering as a couple to the Kindreds.  Think of something that is meaningful for both of you to offer.)

(Their hands will be bound so we need to arrange the space to make it easy for their movement at this point.)

• Thanking the Beings (This is actually quite short with a final “offering” to each performed.)
• Thanking the Earth Mother
• Recessional where the couple is presented to the attendees as one unit.

o In our lives there are many rites of passage that take us from one state into another.  Each of our “firsts” bring joy to those who love and support us.  We have born witness to the vows (bride) and (groom) have made to one another.  We have given them our blessings both as individuals and as a group.  You see before you not the young people that entered this space but a unit.  They have not lost who they are as individuals but instead joined those forces to create a beautiful family.  By the power invested in me by those gathered here and the State of Ohio, I present to you (bride) and (groom).  Rise and congratulate them on their new journey while they make their first steps as a married couple.