Before I start posting about the various Fall traditions, I wanted to add a quick post about a topic no one likes to hear about, which makes it important to discuss anyway. And while I recognize that it should be a given if you know me or read any of my material, I feel that saying it out loud, bluntly, is the best course of action.

Heathenry, by its many names, has the sad fate to be linked to extremists who try to make it a “white only” type of religion. Not only is this racist, and bigoted, it’s also quite ludicrous. If you would like to read a well-written, IMO, text on the history of Norse beliefs through the centuries I would like to recommend From Asgard to Valhalla by Heather O’Donoghue. It’s a short read at 232 pages written by an academic very knowledgeable in the field. You can generally find it on Amazon for just a few dollars in paperback, and most libraries either carry it or can get it through inter-library loan. It was originally written in 2008 so you will have to forgive the 15-year gap in data. However, her writing is accessible even to non-academic types, giving a well thought out accounting of the history of the Norse Myths. I mention this text because there is an entire section that outlines how these myths became associated with Germanic Nationalism and eventually to white supremacists. Give it a read.

Anyone that has really dived into the cosmology of the Norse myths realizes that the very idea of such a closed-minded viewpoint is not sustainable in the lore. We have deities and spirits who are gender-fluid, entities who are probably not entirely heterosexual, shape-shifters, deities who blur the line of gender-specific roles (I’m looking at you, One-Eye), and best of all – deities who aren’t white. Yep, you heard me. We have deities who aren’t pasty-glow-in-the-dark white people. For the purposes of this blog, whenever I refer to races I am going to be inferring skin tones that are African or European. Technically, most of the deities have either married into, or had children, with different mixed races but since these crazy extremists like to make things about skin color we will focus on that.

Nótt is the Goddess of the Night. In the Poetic Edda she is referred to as:  “night” by mankind, “darkness” by the gods, “the masker” by the mighty Powers, “unlight” by the jötunn, “joy-of-sleep” by the elves, while dwarves call her “dream-Njörun” in the poem Alvíssmál. How we know she wasn’t white is the description that Snorri Sturlusson gives us in the Prose Edda, where he describes her as “black and swarthy” in Chapter 10. Black? Swarthy? Doesn’t sound like a white person to me. So let’s continue on. Nótt has had three marriages according to Snorri: 

• Naglfari, (??) who produced a son – Auðr (prosperity)
• Annar/Ónar (Send/Another, Gaping), who produced a daughter – Jörð (Earth, bounty)
• Dellingr (Shining One), who produced a son – Dagr (Day)

Now, not knowing the particular hue of the skin for these guys let’s take a leap of faith and presume they are at least a little bit pastier than “black” or “swarthy.” This would make any children between these fellas and Nótt bi-racial. Nótt herself may well be bi-racial as her father is listed as a Jotun and nothing is cited for her mother. However, my opinion is that her mother was a Vane making her a cousin to the House of Mundilfari. I’m getting off-track here so let’s stick to the particulars using the written texts rather than wild conjecture shall we? (I am leaving out the various academic theories on purpose.) We do not have any attestations in the existing lore that give us names for children from Auðr or Dagr so we cannot really pursue their genealogical line any further without really making stuff up.  However, we do have the name of at least one child of Jörð. Care to guess? That’s right. Our favorite hammer-wielding redhead, Þórr. Following the line of genetics here that would make Þórr a quadroon, ¼ black (Jörð) and ¾ European/white (Oðinn). [Please note that the term “quadroon” is an antiquated word from the 19^th century that by itself, in a genealogical context, isn’t racist, but please don’t use it to refer to people who are multi-racial. Without their informed consent, it’s insulting and wrong!]

But he’s a redhead! Redheads are white! Um, people of African descent can be redheads too. One example is from the Disney channel’s reboot of the Willow series. There are two beautiful actresses in the cast who are clearly of multi-racial descent with red hair, freckles, and hazel eyes. This is how I picture Þórr to look like: Red-curly hair, freckles, lightly tanned skin, and hazel eyes that are more brownish/gold than greenish/gold. One of the biggest heroes of the Norse Lore is multi-racial. Take THAT white supremacists!

Counting just this familial line we have five separate beings named in the Lore who are not “white.” If you subscribe to the idea that Meili, Þórr’s brother, is also a son of Jörð then that makes six. Now add Þórr’s children, Magni, Moði, and Thruð to the mix and we are up to nine. Nine named people in the lore, in one genealogical line, that are not 100% white. I am grinning like a fool just typing that.

So here we are with lore-backed evidence showing how heathenry can never be a religion based on white gods honored solely by white people. The gods/goddesses call whomever they like and no humans should be trying to tell them otherwise. It’s just stupid to think that way. Like I said in the beginning, we shouldn’t have to keep reiterating these things but with so much hate and bigotry looking for any platform they can climb on these days it’s important that we keep doing our best to destroy their chances of absconding with our faith.

It’s that time in the Northern Hemisphere. Trees are beginning to change colors, the grass is finally dying back, the smell of the air is changing, and cooler temperatures are making their way into most of the U.S.

There are a lot of days ahead that involve celebrations, recognitions, and even gift-giving. It’s a time of fantastic connections to our paths but can also be extremely stress inducing to those with lots of responsibilities or even loss. We have all heard, or said, that the holidays are a hard time of year for many. This is true for pagans as well, especially those in mourning. The busy run-run-run, trying to arrange gatherings around family events, making time for our families, as well as time for our religious practice can be hard. Throw in the plethora of potential “high days” and it’s enough to make you say ‘bah humbug.’

Now let’s add in what to celebrate. As humans we like having familiar, even common/similar, holy days. It helps us to feel that sense of belonging to a larger community. Most, if not all, pagans have heard of the Wheel of the Year. Regardless of pantheon many of them try to adhere to that wheel as it gives structure and a feeling of tying into the seasonal changes around us. The Wheel, however, is a modern construct and is generally tied to Wicca and more specifically Celtic practices. Not that there is anything wrong with that. As a former Druid I followed this wheel idea as well and assigned my own heathen-centric focus on those days. It’s a foundation to start an individual’s journey towards helping work them out of the Abrahamic-centered worldview and into a more Pagan-centric worldview. It has a purpose, and a good one at that, but as a person grows and changes in their faith some may find it a bit out of sync.

As an individual is called, or is drawn, to working with the Northern European pantheons they are going to find that there are fewer descriptions of high days, feasts, or celebrations. We don’t have a lot preserved in our existing source material to help guide us on how to celebrate in a modern setting (existing = extant in manuscript speak 😊). A great many heathens (across different sub-septs) will do some sort of blót, sumble/sumbel/symbel, or faining each month to feast and recognize a hero of a saga, or even a holy day. I really don’t care about lifting a horn to Eirik the Red. I’ve read the Sagas and he is kind of a bully and a jerk. The whole throwing a gathering each month to toast some “hero” of those stories never rang as a true part to my individual practice. If this is something you do, and like it, that’s fantastic. I don’t want to put down anyone’s individual observances. They just aren’t for me. So what about those like me who don’t feel called to that type of heathenry?

I have seen some references, in both source materials and a few historical instances, of sacred/holy times. However, we don’t have specific dates as they worked seasonally. They also had different calendars back then which do not match up to the Gregorian we use today. In addition, we don’t have a lot of descriptions of what actually went on during these observances. With this lack of detail, we here in the modern age (21^st century) must do a lot of guesswork and just making shit up as we go. Heathenry of any kind will never be a religion that can be truly reconstructed. There just aren’t enough original sources with detailed data on the religious practices still extant if they were ever written down in the first place. Considering this I have tried to throw together a basic practice for the fall months that could potentially work. Please note that these dates and seasons are specific to the Northern hemisphere, and especially to the United States as that area is where I am the most familiar.

The idea of “Fall” is not one that can be assigned to the northern climes of Scandinavia and the Nordic regions. What information we do have in the lore generally refers to two seasons:  summer and winter. The idea of four seasons that follow a 3–4-month span for each season is a modern concept based on the Gregorian calendar and the more temperate climates of the mid-lower United States and southern Europe. This band of the world does experience four seasons to some extent and generally defines them by the calendar. It’s neat and tidy. The world, and its climate, does not work that way though. The further North to the Arctic Circle, or South to the Equator, and you find the four season model tends to go out the window. All of that being said, did the far northern regions experience a Spring or a Fall? Yes. Granted, it was probably only about a week or two. From a Geological standpoint, odds are they didn’t have the 1-2-month gradual turning of the leaves and all things pumpkin that we experience here in the States. But to think there wasn’t a period that warned them winter is coming so they could bring in the harvest is incorrect. We know they had some idea of the extra seasons as we have a Spring Goddess (Eostre, Erce, sometimes Idunna). If there was someone associated directly to Fall, we have sadly lost their name to history but it would stand to reason that one existed at some point. Pagans like balance, as does the Cosmos as a whole. If you have Summer and Winter deities to balance each other, you will have Spring and Fall deities to do the same. Perhaps someone will reconstruct the language and determine a name. Or maybe the Fall deity will suddenly wake up and say, “Yo! I’m here. My name is…” Until then we just have to keep on trucking without it.

(And in case you were wondering…Mabon is a Welsh deity so giving him the name of the entire Fall Equinox seems odd to me. OH! And Lughnassadh is mis-named. That feast is not to Lugh. He created it to honor his foster mother, Tailtiu, who gave her life to end a drought in the land so the people would survive. It’s not his day so it shouldn’t be named for him. Stupid patriarchy. steps down off the soapbox)

The days I am going to give below will each get their own posts, but I wanted to list them out for those who were curious. Two of them have at least some mentions in our preserved sources, but the remainder is my cobbled together version that I try to observe in my own practice. You are welcome to try them. I won’t demand you cite me as the originator, that’s just silly. If it resonates with you, then I offer it freely.

Winter Finding – Generally the new moon nearest the Fall Equinox (either before or after) but occurs prior to Winter Nights. Time to recognize and welcome the cooler weather and the beginning of Fall. This was sometimes interchanged with Winter Nights, but I separate them. 09/14/2023 was the date this year, 10/02/2024 is the date for next year.

Winter Nights – This is generally celebrated near the full moon after the Fall Equinox. As the lunar calendar shifts each year many people celebrate this three-day festival around the middle of October. It marked the beginning of Winter for the Nordic regions. We do have a reference to this celebration in the lore. 09/29/2023 was the full moon for the observance this year, 10/17/2024 is the moon next year. I tend to hold this between the 15^th and 17^th of October regardless of the moon cycle.

Alfablót – Full moon after the Harvest Full moon. This is often called the Hunter’s moon and usually falls in mid-late October though it can fall in early October or early November. Celebration to honor the male ancestors of the hall/house. Alfablót is a closed feast specifically for one’s own direct male ancestors and is designed for family only. We do have a reference to this celebration in the lore. Date to observe:  10/28/2023, 10/17/2024 next year.

Samhain – this isn’t a day that is remarked upon within heathen sources. It’s a Celtic fire day that balances against the energies of Beltane in May. However, most people do use this time to honor the ancestors regardless of pantheon. For me, I have started observing 12 days of the Ancestors that begins with Samhain on October 31^st and ends on November 11^th (which is Veteran’s Day in the States and culminates in the recognition of those who have died in defense of our people). The time of Samhain allows one to broaden and include those that are not just blood kin as well as open their celebrations/remembrances to friends and community.

After Samhain we then enter the liminal time before resetting for Winter at Yule. More to come later.

Good grief!

I have tried to get back to my writings for a few months now. Bits and pieces have floated about the ether above my head waiting for me to touch them and allow them to wash over my imagination. To be honest time is completing getting away from me. I’ve had time off and planned on writing ALL THE THINGS! And then I will either be too exhausted mentally from the 60 hours a week I am working or too many other things need my immediate attention.

There are times that living alone has been a true blessing. I have had a lot of healing to be done from the traumas of the past and if I am to be frank I still have a ways to go. The best thing that happened to me in the past five years was to move to this little house and then the COVID quarantine. I am now classified as permanent work from home which allows me to be free from the pressures of scrambling to catch a bus and the 4-5 hours of lost time in transit. Buses never go in a straight line from point A to point B. The solitude has been very good for my soul. Then a little over a year ago I disconnected from social media. Not worrying about whether people like me or if I have offended someone has removed a lot of stress from my shoulders. It was odd at first not checking FaceBook every morning and throughout the day to keep up with what people were doing. Then, after about two weeks, it stopped being weird. I would have a twinge every now and then but most of the time it was no big deal. Very few people have noticed I’m gone so it really helped to point out those that actually cared about me. Every few months I go in to my messages to see if I need to answer something but other than that I don’t go on it at all. There are only two people who regularly text me for proof of life and one of those is my cousin.

This brings me to the flip side of living alone. It can be very lonely. While most of the time I am pretty good not having people around touching my stuff, asking me annoying questions, criticizing something I have done, or just making me feel generally bad about myself in some way there are those moments when I would love to share some insight, or joke, or just share a hug with another human being. Don’t think that’s an invitation to touch me though. Touch is very personal and intimate for me. I try to be casual about it like other people but honestly it’s really difficult. If I let you touch me it’s because I feel you are safe and I like you. Violate that trust and I will avoid you like the plague. And my trust in others is VERY fragile. Reference my comments above about healing from trauma.

So I would love to have someone to share all this with, but then I think about them touching my stuff and I get twitchy. It took me a long time to start expressing myself through my decor choices. I can’t think of a single roommate situation where I was able to put anything of me out where others could see it for fear of losing a roof over my head. Any time I tried it was dismissed or belittled to where I felt I had to hide every piece of me that wasn’t quiet, bland, or some variation of white or grey. I stayed in survival mode and catered to whatever pleased others to the point where I didn’t have any idea who I truly was. I didn’t even realize that I could enjoy bolder patterns and colors until I moved here and no one could tell me no. Or that it was okay to be a little messy, or that things don’t have to match, or that my lawn doesn’t have to be ‘just so.’ I was so afraid of being abandoned and not wanted that by making myself into whatever pleased them I was essentially abandoning myself. So, yeah. Lots of processing and healing from those times are in effect.

One of the ways I work through the above is planning. I want my own homestead someday where I can have all the animals I can afford, a huge garden that is fairly self-sustaining, an orchard, my own Vé, an outdoor ritual space where if I want to be in my birthday suit under a full moon it will only scare aware the cats and bears. I don’t have that now but I dream. I keep working on paying debt while trying to learn how to homestead on a much smaller scale. I work hard and try my best to do it right. I watch my homesteading channels and when I am feeling really frisky I grab one of my beautiful books and try to get some reading done while the chickens cluck around the yard.

This site is about my spiritual work. But our spiritual lives are impacted by the day to day events and details so it is often hard to separate them. I know that this post isn’t much about following the Vanir but I have posted quite a few things in other sections today for your entertainment so allow me this more personal update. It’s all about balance.

Wow. Yesterday it was just before the Spring Equinox and now I wake up and it’s freaking November! Where has this year gone?

Dear friends this past summer has been chock full of things that kept me busy and away from my website. Planning and planting a vegetable garden, setting up flower beds, hauling wood chips, building a chicken coop and run (yes, you read that right. I got chickens!!), cleaning up the yards, and doing my best to do the same in the house. Every time I thought I was good and could sit back down to write something else came up. I wish I could say that all of the above was immensely successful and I had one hel of a harvest to show for it but alas I cannot. Bugs, heat, and lack of water/irrigation meant that what should have been an amazing garden year only produced a few beans, two squash, some peppers, and a couple of small cucumbers. Instead of being down about the lack of abundance I am choosing instead to think ahead to next year and begin plotting my next attempt with several changes. But my garden is not really what this blog is about, is it?

What about all those stories I listed back in March?

To be honest, while I have a little more on the burner for them they haven’t really come together into a delicious dish of mythos just yet. Jörð share a little more but I need to have a seat with her this winter and talk out what she would like me to share. Spring through fall she is so busy in the northern hemisphere that there hasn’t been time to have a good chat. Njörð was all set for me to tell the story but Heimdall was a bit hesitant. Out of respect I will wait until he is ready. Óðr has disappeared for a bit, probably on another adventure, but I feel certain he will be making an appearance again before Twelfth Night.

To be frank, I was so preoccupied with the house and garden that I didn’t even keep up with my devotionals. I kept meaning to but I didn’t have the same draw as I did before my last post so I waited until it felt right again. Which is now, funny enough. I think to kick it off on this new moon I will add my devotional prayers to this website. I am not yet certain why I was driven away from my spiritual work for these past couple of seasons but I can’t help but think that I will discover the reason and be all the better for it.

Here in the states it is Thanksgiving Day. A time to remember how thankful we are for what we have, our family, as well as the ability to grow and learn each day. And though commercialism and capitalism try hard to make us feel like we can’t be happy without the newest gadget it’s nice to just take a bit and pause for what is important to us. So, while I work on updating my modern myths and putting out new content I would like to extend warm wishes to all of you throughout this Yuletide season regardless of how you may celebrate or not.

Exciting developments here. You may have noticed that the website has a new name, Ramblings from Vanaheim. I am not getting rid of Meanderings, it’s just that it will be morphing into more homesteading type of material on my youtube channel and I want this website to be a haven for paganism and mythology. Since I am working closer with the Vanes, and getting my inspirations from them, it made sense to rename.

Next bit of news, the blog is now an official website with its own domain! ramblingsofvanaheim.com is the new site. I made the leap and upgraded for the next year. If I like it, and it doesn’t break the bank, I will endeavor to keep it going. There are all kinds of add-ons that I am looking forward to investigating.

What’s coming up?

• Well, I have a lovely story from Jörð that she is beginning to share. She is a bit sassy and loves her puns.
• Oðr part 2 is waiting in the wings. He’s been hovering a bit and clearly wants to share but I think he is gathering his thoughts at the moment.
• The story of Heimdall’s conception and birth was shared with me many months ago. It’s a little hard to write so I have been sitting on it. Njörð came to visit recently and said that it was time so I will be trying to put that down as well. Fair warning, it starts out quite beautifully but it isn’t so lovely at parts. Those who are sensitive might not want to read it all the way through for fear of trauma triggers.
• Some of the customs and whys of the Vanir will appear here as well.

As you can see there is a lot coming down the pipeline. I hope you enjoy and find something worthwhile for your own practice and connections with the gods and goddesses.

May you find your sacred breath.

It has been quite some time since I last posted a blog. I have multiple stories regarding the House of Mundilfæri that I will be editing and adding. My own personal path has been veering away from the primary tribe of the Æsir and falling in line more with the Vanir. This began the summer of 2020 during an online drumming meditation with a fellow pagan. Freyja appeared and took me into a hut within Vanaheim. To quote various companions of Doctor Who, it was bigger on the inside. There I saw hundreds of Vanes waiting for me. Most of the faces have been lost to me now but I remember at the time being able to see them clearly. Without going into a great deal of detail, as it is extremely personal, I was inducted into the clan of the Vanir. Coming out of the trance-journey I felt a significant shift within me and knew that I had just undergone a rite of passage. It was from that moment that I began to slowly shift away from the more structured, almost militant, devotion of the Æsir into the elemental, fluid flow of the Vanir. It hasn’t been easy as I have worked with those gods and goddesses for most of my adulthood now. I still have ties that I am loathe to break and some promises that need fulfilled so the journey with them is not completely over. Fortunately, the Vanir are patient.

One of the areas that is changing is my observances of high days. While I still recognize the main eight high days I tend to observe more of the seasonal shifts that flow with what the land is calling for rather than a calendrical day. Which is the other thing. As a human in the 21st century I cannot completely throw out the modern day calendar. My boss would be rather miffed if I failed to work my scheduled time simply because the moon isn’t in the right phase. For mundane existence I am still required to follow a 12 month calendar with 24 hour days. This doesn’t mean I have to forget about everything else. Yes, I have a 9 to 5 job. However, I can still live my daily life by the cycles of Miðgarð and the universe around me. It means that sometimes I will have to wait to do my workings until I clock out and just adjust for the shift rather than doing things right on the nose of an hour and whatnot.

Another area is going to be how I celebrate Yule. In years past I have observed a 12 day rite whose original idea came from a fellow pagan, Leesa Kern. It is my understanding that a book is in the works regarding this practice so I highly recommend the reader to keep a lookout and buy it. The original idea centered more around Celtic and Gaulish practices. This was more than ten years ago so if there were other pieces I have honestly forgotten them. I do remember hearing the idea and thinking it would be great turned into a more Norse-centric practice. Over those ten years I fine-tuned and tweaked it to something I was quite proud of and freely shared in a public venue on social media for most of those years. Now that a book is in the works there appears to be some questions about citing sources and giving credit whenever I share something regarding this practice. I want to be very clear, my Norse practice is mine. No one else wrote my personal practice even if I did glean some ideas from other sources along the way. No one else created my practice. What I do is solely mine. Having said all this, I value my friend and do not wish anything so stupid as who invented what to keep us from sharing ideas. It actually worked out in timing as I had already begun to realize that I needed to start changing how I celebrate Yule along this new path. My only wish is that the credit situation could have waited until after the first holiday season I had truly started to enjoy since my daughter died. It cast a dark pall across my household and I found myself tearing down anything to do with Yule on Christmas Day. All the depression-like feelings and despair of a special time of year being ruined came flooding back. It brought back the loss and heartbreak all over again. I signed off of all my social media pages and have yet to log in two and a half months later.

I don’t yet know what my personal practice is going to develop into moving forward. I will be able to say that no one else owns my ideas and the way I incorporate them into my daily devotionals and rites. I do have a morning and evening rite that calls to the House of Mundilfæri. I am also working through some coursework on two different paths that I feel will make a wonderful addition to my faith. I hope that those who truly care for my well-being will be happy for me and excited to watch as I develop. It is my intention to begin posting more of my stories, insights, and workings to those who are interested. My faith is not for sale. I am being called to share these things freely as there are people who may find benefit and joy in reading and learning from what I can offer.

In the meantime, enjoy the beauty to be found in this restful time of year. I wish for you to find peace and light upon your own journey and most especially…

May you find your sacred breath.